Vitiligo Body

My body is a work of art thanks to my beautiful varying shades of color and more importantly the lack of color that I wear as a result of Vitiligo. I started this blog to speak out/scream that Vitiligo is so much more than a cosmetic condition. Our culture is obsessed with physical appearance.  As a result, a condition that robs the skin of its color becomes a psychological tumor that slowly drains one of their self-confidence, if it is not addressed head on and killed at the source. The source is negativity, insecurity, and sadness, which encourages people to project their insecurities on others.  Positive-thinking, self-confidence and being happy in the midst of chaos is how to attack the source. I have struggled with the idea of shutting down Mosaic Life Online because somehow the negative projections were slowly getting into my psyche and I just felt exhausted.

I celebrated National Vitiligo Awareness day back in June 2016 in pictures. So many understood the body art, the message of being proud of my 40-something body and my “viti” spots. I received a back-handed compliment about my body. One of those “you look great, but…”comments.  Why did the hater’s comments stick in my head so much more than all the compliments I received?  I realized I was disappointed because that person did not feel sorry for me because of vitiligo.  That person only saw my size zero, yoga toned body in a bikini.  I thought what about the spots?  You win lady. You don’t have to live with vitiligo.   Because of this negative space, more months pass with no blogging.

Then came a mini-vacation in September and I felt exhilarated again. I am a woman over 40 with Vitiligo. I have trained my body over the years, so it’s nice and toned.  However, I usually stay covered because of the “vit”. Pictures from my vacation, this time, I am freeing myself of the cover-ups and showcasing my spots even when not on the beach. I am happy to be the face and body of Vitiligo and “new over 40 woman". This time I was concerned about being too sexy. Covering up my “Vit” or covering up my body on the beach. It is all too much and it is all about trying to make others feel comfortable with me.  We all, women in particular, have to learn to love ourselves regardless.

Empathy for others is a good start to learning to love ourselves.  Know that everyone has something. We all deal with body image issues, but most can hide it with spanks, or shooting the camera at a better angle.  It is okay to mourn the loss of your hair or your small figure. You can buy hair or workout, but there is no cure for Vitiligo.  There has been some success with some drugs.  I have seen much re-pigmentation (color returning) with no drugs over the years that I attribute to sun therapy, diet and exercise.  Sometimes with grief or illness, it is not about getting over it. It is about learning to live through it and enjoying life regardless.  A positive outlook on life is my greatest weapon.  I am also happy to educate anyone about Vitiligo.  

I learned that my issues with my body image have very little to do with my Vitiligo and more about not wanting to be too sexy.  I like to be buttoned up, so the focus is on my brain and not my body.  However, on a tropical vacation, that is a little difficult. No more apologies, but I will admit that I am looking forward to cover-up season, so everyone goes back to feeling comfortable …Mosaic is welcoming fall.